Posts Tagged ‘Lifestyle’

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Be kind to yourself 30.04.2018

Monday, April 30th, 2018

I know it has been over a month since my last post…have you noticed?? Maybe not… but for those who have I am back. I have finally got my bum into gear and have made time to create. I think it has been where I have been going wrong all these years. I have never made time for my artwork. I have worked, non stop since I was 17. Always earning, making money to pay for rent or food, just about getting by but never actually making time for what I want to be doing.

I love making other people happy, maybe that is why I am best suited to customer service…but doing this can take its toll. So this post is a sort of update/chat about life and how I am trying to be good to myself, to be kind.

I am very fortunate in the fact that I have a recently new advantage at the moment. I have a partner who is supporting me whilst I am creating new content. Some for my website, some for me, some for potential clients. I have never had this opportunity before, to actually have a couple of days where I sit down and just draw. Seems the most simplest thing in the world right? But to actually have an allotted time to do this has been unknown to me. Never before have I been left alone for the day to focus on my artwork. I feel it is a real chance to discover my style, which I am evolving everyday.

So I should probably explain since the middle of April I have cut down my hours at work (part time barista part time wannabe illustrator) so I now have extra days to myself to create. It seems blindingly obvious now but I have never thought to do this before. Perhaps because I needed to earn money in my early twenties to live which I think anyone will agree was fair enough.

I am writing to do lists for the first time in my life. I have always kept everything in my head and worked through it somehow, probably missing things off that were forgotten along the way. I am finding such pleasure in crossing things off these lists daily, and actually getting shit done!

This freedom has seen my creative block disappear, which I have previously written about, and a new found confident illustrator appear. I now have a bright orange notebook for lists, creative processes and ideas to be jotted down in.  It is becoming invaluable to me. Now if I am ever stuck for ideas I consult my orange notebook, it has all the answers.

I am listening to A LOT of podcasts, I have a new found love for Desert Island Discs (I know, its okay I am 30 next year..!) listening to greats like Dawn French, Dustin Hoffman even Russell Brand has been hugely inspiring for me. I feel like I am learning more than I ever have sat at my desk hunched over a drawing laughing (or crying…) at a podcast. I would highly recommend a listen to anyone. They can be a huge comfort and listening to the stories can be fascinating. Fearne Cotton’s ‘Happy Place’ has also become a favourite of mine. She interviews more greats such as Stephen Fry and Gok Wan. Listening to other peoples life experiences is massively up lifting. To know that these famous individuals that we look up to and that have sort of ‘made it’ if you like have also had heartaches in their lifetime.  I can feel my life and processes becoming enriched due to listening to these podcasts.

I am making a conscience effort to be kind to myself. The podcasts are a good start. Eating well is also important (poached egg on toast in the morning, thank you very much). Cups of tea are important and of course that first cup of coffee in the morning. Enjoyment in the moment is just as important as the work we do.

One day we will be out of time, so make the time now.

Be kind to yourself.

Thanks for reading.

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Posted in Family, Illustrator, Lifestyle, Work | No Comments »

Block 12.03.2018

Monday, March 12th, 2018

Creative block. It is the worst. It snowed a few weeks ago causing myself and Matthew to be stuck in doors for four days! I found it such a great opportunity to produce some great work for my website, and even though after the second day cabin fever was beginning to set in…I persevered and really enjoyed the four days of just solid drawing. I had loads of ideas and when I put pen to paper all my ideas came to life. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t go anywhere, that there was no pressure to be anywhere, maybe it was this that helped the creative juices flow. I felt happy with just getting up every morning, going to my desk getting out my sketchbook, plugging in my music and starting to draw.

Struggling this week, maybe because its a Monday or maybe I have just lost my creative flow this week. I get moments like this. Moments of self doubt in myself and my artwork, moments where I panic and scream in my head, “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!” I thought maybe writing about it would help. So here we are. Maybe its the lack of chocolate this month…

Writing about it is actually quite therapeutic. My thoughts here in black and white (I’ll realise I’m being a fool at the end of typing this). Maybe I am hoping to make sense of the goings on inside my head.

I know I shouldn’t but I sometimes find that I am comparing myself to others around me. Thinking, ‘oh my god, they are younger than me and they are already so much more successful than I am at this age…!’ I shouldn’t do it. But I cannot stop my brain sometimes. I have phases of worry; worries about who I am, if I am doing the right things and acting the right way…Does anyone else do that? Are we doing it because we are only human? I have to remind myself that every life is different and we don’t all face the same challenges and life experiences.

Is everyones idea of success different? I cannot for the life of me remember where I saw this quote (instagram somewhere I am sure…) but I found a random screenshot on my phone. It goes ‘At the end of life, what really matters is not what we have but who we are; not what we got but what we shared; not our competence but our character; and not our success, but our significance. Be kind, be loving and start with yourself ‘ whoever wrote this, you have hit the nail on the head basically. It is easy to get distracted by other sometimes ridiculous feelings, as long as we refocus back to what is really important. So that is what I am trying to do today. To focus back on what is important in the hope that this will regain my creative flow.

Creativity can be affected by my mood, I can’t just sit down at my desk and start drawing if I have had a bad day. I have to be in the right frame of mind and have an idea of what I want to produce. I have rare moments of opportunity to do my drawing – maybe thats part of my problem. Maybe I need to make more time for it. I get very caught up in everyday life, working and seeing the people I love. I forget to set aside time for myself sometimes. Time to do what I want to do. Its a vicious circle really and I get myself into it now and again. Like with everything, all the self doubt I feel at times, I am the only one who can change that mindset.

I want to make a living from my art but I have always been so unsure of how to do it. I have spent years trying to figure it out and still I am none the wiser. I want what I do to be taken seriously, to be appreciated and to be rich from it. Sorry that last part isn’t true! Haha, I mean it would be nice but just to carve out a career from my talent would be great. It is hard work, harder than I ever thought it would be. I look at other illustrators and think, ‘How did you do that?? How did you become so successful??’ I read about their journey to “success” and it always seems to be that they stumble onto the right path or they just got lucky and met the right people. I hear that a lot. I don’t know what the answer to all this is really. When I figure it out I am sure I will jot it down in another post. But you could be waiting a while. In the mean time if you have any bright ideas, let me know yeah?

This post has sort of been all over the place really. Sorry about that. Thanks for sticking with me if you still are…That was a little insight into the mind of Beth. I’m off now to make corned beef hash with Matthew.

Thanks for reading.

Wigmore out.

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Posted in Lifestyle, New Year, Uncategorised | No Comments »

Shyness 02.02.2018

Friday, February 2nd, 2018

I watched something recently which got my brain thinking…it was on BBC one, thursday the 30th January. Matthew had fallen asleep next to me on the sofa, I was looking at my phone scrolling through instagram with the telly still on of course (for background noise!). I kept hearing something about being shy and stand-up comedian, Rhod Gilbert, I looked up to see him in the middle of a shopping centre trying to approach members of the public to ask if they suffered with shyness, but he felt to shy to ask… Now I never thought that comedians could be shy. I always thought of them being quite open and confident. Performing in front of thousands of people you would have to be right? Turns out some of the greatest stand up comedians are in actual fact shy. Rhod Gilbert being one of them.

I have always been shy. I was as a kid, and I sort of am as an adult now. I am better than how I use to be. At school I was painfully shy. I would not say boo to a goose. It was actually not until my mid twenties after a relationship break-up and also learning to drive that set me free from my shy prison. I finally stood up for myself, for my life and finally started living. Nothing like having a drastic circumstance change to give yourself a bit of confidence. It definitely changed me as a person. I am much better off now because of the decision I made and even though it was shitty and painful at the time, it needed to happen. I had huge support from my family and friends, and after it had all happened it was like a weight had been lifted off of me. I cannot describe it like anything else but that. I felt in control of my life for the first time ever, and that gave me huge confidence. I literally thought fuck it. Life is too short to be miserable. Cliched I know but no truer words have ever been spoken! I started looking people in the eye when I was talking to them and laughing more. Appreciating music, beautiful sunny days and my loved ones around me. I always had this idea that being shy was such a terrible thing, I would hate myself for being like it. But looking back now, and living my life now, I do not see it as a bad thing. I am learning to embrace it. It is a part of who I am and I think I will always have it within me, but nobody is perfect eh?

People I have met in the past have almost been frightened of people who are shy. Not knowing how to talk to them, finding them rude or boring. These people I find are the ones who seem to be very narrow minded about life and the people around them. Not everyone is the same and we all deal with things and circumstances in our lives differently, there is no right or wrong answer after all. We all have our story to tell.

Learning to drive, my god this was huge for me. I don’t know about you but this was a massive achievement for me. I never thought I would manage it. I scrimped and saved for my lessons. Failed the first driving test, but passed the second time. (Woo!) I am so glad I did it. I love driving. It has given me the confidence to think, well if I can do that I can do anything, I have inherited my dads road rage thats for sure. There are a lot of idiots out there and they need to be told lets face it.

Watching Rhod Gilbert talking about shyness affecting 50% of the population made me think that we should not be ashamed of this personality trait. We should embrace it. It is part of what makes us, us. I think also confidence grows with age and experiences. It is okay to be an introvert or an extrovert. If everyone was the same there would be no balance. Us introverts keep the extroverts in line. Shyness is a part of me yes, but there can be so much more to a person.

Give Rhod Gilbert’s Stand up to shyness programme a watch. A definite recommend if you have a spare hour.

If you have any comments about this topic (or anything else)  you can leave a little note below.

Thanks for reading.

Wigmore out.

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